Circles

There are days when words are flowing, concepts are being understood, and goals are being met. During these times I am just elated. My day is great, the sun is shinning all in my smile and attitude. Then there are days when there are very little words, instead of goals being met every goal is a challenge, and life at that moment  is just a complete struggle. During these times instead of sunshine I am in complete disarray, there is no sun, and I think that the progress that had just taken place weeks prior is completely over and now here we are back at the beginning. This is why I entitled this post circles because this is exactly what I go through providing love and support for a child with Autism.

I was at the lake and captured this image. The circle was created as a reaction to the twig that I threw in the lake. Well as I think about this image I can apply it to my thought life. Autism is the twig and the ripple effect which is the reaction of the fallen twig is my minds circle of thoughts. All I am trying to say is whenever there is a bad day or a series of bad days I can just have all sorts of rippling thoughts. Will he ever get better, I haven't heard him speak in a while, is he losing what he lost previously, can he still understand me? These are my thoughts which are just circles because they go around and around. Now I know that you are wondering well okay how do you get through that? How do you overcome these emotions and or thought patterns? Well for me I just have to remember that this condition directly affects the Nervous System in the body, and therefore there is a misfiring of the neurotransmitters that send signals to tell his brain to do a certain thing. This is the cause for the series of bad days. With that being said I always have to remember that and always keep a sunshiny attitude no matter what. Since I have noticed that I have these circles of thoughts I have made a conscious effort to keep them in check. I am not a master at this. I definitely still  have struggles but I am willing to share my struggles because I know that I am not the only one with these circles of thoughts, and I am here to be a support for parents by sharing the details of my daily battles in hopes of you reading and gaining the strength and encouragement that you need to know that you too are going to make it through this.
Besides this smile just gives me so much hope.