The Diagnosis.

It was a cold weekend before Halloween  the children were very excited about candy and costumes and such, and all I could remember is thinking there is something wrong with Raymond, he is just not himself lately, I was so worried I just had to make an appointment. So the pediatrician was concerned about the new symptoms that Ray had displayed. He was suddenly obsessed with having one certain book on the same page at all times. He also had a sudden urge to pull his earlobes and suck his bottom lip constantly. I remember thinking that I was being silly for reporting those symptoms, thinking man the Dr. is gonna think I'm nuts! So after describing my concerns she made a walk-in appointment for that Monday. I remember that day like it was yesterday, and that appointment was one that changed my life forever. After the examination I remember her coming back in the room with a total grim look on her face and with that look I automatically thought, what...what.....oh my God what are you gonna tell me about my child. The Dr. calmly said Mrs. C your son is showing early signs of autism or aspberger's syndrome. I could do nothing but cry, she consoled me gave me a list of people that I needed to contact to have him tested. I just couldn't stop crying I thought Autism was just terrible, and that he was mentally handicapped, I had mental images of him not being able to function in life not going to prom, or playing sports. My mind was going WILD! I didn't even know what Autism was and I just devastated. I composed myself gathered my things and went home, then for two whole days I did nothing but cry and played the whole birth process over and over in my mind. I was thinking was it the pitosin, was it the infamil formula, what could have caused this???? Well after the two days of turmoil, I suddenly jumped out of bed and began to tackle what was laid before me. I then began to do research, I ordered a couple of books, surfed the web non-stop searching for answers, causes and most importantly solutions. I just want to pause here in my story to say that, it's okay to have emotions about Autism. It's okay to cry, but most importantly don't blame yourself, or your parenting. We go through life wanting things to be just smooth but we all know that life is not always smooth and on our journey of life there are many twist and turns, but in the twist and turns is where we learn the most lessons. So if you are in the diagnosis stage and you don't what to do, just know that your little one will be fine, he or she is SMART but the condition just hides what the person knows but with the proper external and internal treatments....your loved one CAN & WILL REACH HIS or HER FULL POTENTIAL!!!!!!!!